Office Life

Have you ever watched The Office and thought how bizarre those people are? I work somewhere similar. The girl in the next office to me does sound effects to go with everything. Like when she shuts a door, or a drawer, she makes a weird sound effect noise. When she walks through my office, she does a sound effect noise. Why would anyone do this?

Then there is another woman who is seriously overweight. Don't get me wrong, I am not the skinny bitch I wish I was, but this woman can barely breathe. And when she does breathe, it sounds like one of those horror movies where there is a dirty old man on the phone breathing down it to a poor, young, terrified girl. I am that terrified girl. There is a connecting part of my office to another office, and she often stands in there and I always know when she is there without her saying a word. Because I can hear her breathing! She also shuffles when she walks so I hear shuffle - breathe - shuffle - breathe. It is disturbing. Not to mention on top of all this, she falls asleep in meetings and snores. Loudly. Snore - breathe - snore - breathe.

Down the hall is a woman who has been engaged 3 or 4 times since I started working here, just over one year ago! She ended up marrying the first guy that she was engaged too, after living with one of the guys (also engaged to) who then tried to kill her by poisoning her food. Seriously, I think being single has its advantages!

Sometimes I wonder if I am being Punked, or if there is a secret camera filming us to get ideas for the show The Office. It is like being in a mad mad circus some days! If you watch The Office and see a Sound Effects Girl and a Shuffler, will you please let me know, then I won't feel like I am crazy.