Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Art and Gross Stuff

So I thought creating a new blog would encourage me to write more. Apparently not.

However, some things this week have prevented me from daily blogging/reading. One was an art project for Ned. He has all those little toy dogs from the new movie, Hotel for Dogs (no I did not buy 8 happy meals from McDonalds, I bought the dogs separately and only 2 happy meals!). He wanted to make a house for them out of a cardboard box, but I had to cut windows and doors, put a chimney on and paint it. While he was at his dad's I stopped by Michael's and found this fabulous small unpainted dolls house so I bought it along with all sorts of wooden bits and pieces to stick on and dog stickers. I will put the pictures up another day as I don't have them here with me at work, but it is a masterpiece and far more superior than the little old cardboard box we were planning on renovating.

Another reason for not blogging is that I have been in incredible pain since Monday due to the fact that I had an infected ingrown toenail. I must point out that it was mainly infected because I had picked at it and tried to get it out myself and made it worse. I went to a podiatrist on Friday who insisted he could do nothing that day and would have to get authorization from my insurance company and that I should come back on Monday. Confused because I have a PPO policy which does not require insurance, but not wanting to argue with the doctor in case I got stuck with a huge bill, I agreed and suffered the pain over the weekend. On Monday I talked to a friend who pointed out that he was just trying to get two copays out of me and I decided to go to someone else who whipped the sucker out as well as one on the other side of the nail. They have both been removed permanently and it was pretty gross. I could not watch because I cannot tolerate pain, but if you need to see what it looks like, go here. The most painful part was the injection to numb the toe - it feels like a huge needle going into your bone and I am grateful for the nurse holding my leg down so that I did not kick the doctor in the face for I am sure I would have done!

Now even though I could not watch this procedure or tolerate the pain of the needle, I had to see the ingrown toenails that he extracted, which were fantastically gross and much to my delight, he gave them to me as souvenirs! Everyone at work seemed so grateful for that as I showed them off!!! Ned thought they were "cool" and has only trod on my toe twice now so we are doing good.

However I was not prepared for the pain I felt when the numbness wore off. Fuck.Ing.Hell. That is all I can say. It throbbed, it hurt, it throbbed some more. Pain killers helped some then I would wake up in the night and have to take some more because the sheet lying on top of the bandages hurt. Two nights in a row I have been up in the night and the doctor is now calling in some stronger pain meds for me. Thank you Toe Doctor, I think I love you.

Last night I took the bandage off to soak the foot in Epsom salts, which is something that is soothing but not when you first put your toe in the water. It hurts! It was the first time I had seen the cuts and they are bloody and disgusting and made me feel sick. I have even come into work each day, hobbling all over the place and wearing sandals in the middle of winter with very thick socks, looking like a gimpy person who has just escaped from an institution of some kind.

I was going to have this done to the second toe, but now I am having second thoughts. I think I would rather have a bikini wax, which is something else I did for the first time last Friday. Again, Fuck.Ing.Hell. I think she enjoyed it too much, she laughed every time I screamed out in pain. However the pain was gone by the next day, so bring on the bikini wax and not so much the ingrown toenail removal!


FunnyGal KAT said...

Oh, ewwww. I thought having to deal with the Pretend Husband's gout was bad enough, but at least he didn't bring home any toenails! I hope you feel better soon (and I hope my queasy stomach from having to read the gory details is better soon too!)

kimmers said...

Oh god that sounds horrific. I am SUCH a baby when it comes to ANY sort of medical procedure.

And yes, I consider my annual physical a "procedure".

Brit' Gal Sarah said...

Say no more if you'd rather have a bikini wax, that pain must have been bad. Hope it gets better soon!

Shelly... said...

I have had several ingrown toenail procedures and I feel your pain, I really do. Hope the stronger meds work!!

Megan said...

Mols, you are totally an escapee from an institution of some sort! But holy smokes, those ingrown nails are a real bitch!

Have a bottle of wine and come by and comment on my 'Spin Cycle' post to offer up a brand new name for yours truly! I know you will have some great suggestions!

me said...

I got the vicodin in hand and am about to take it, so here's hoping to a good night of sleep!!!

Pollyanna said...

Lord. What I want to know is what would possess you to get a bikini wax in the middle of winter? Do you have a hot hunka hunka burning love that you haven't told us about?

Crazy Momma said...

For reals? Man that all sounds like it SUCKS!!

I have been contemplating a bikini wax...but can barely tolerate my eyebrows (I scream and curse and they all laugh at me). I think you have discouraged me for good :)

Amy said...

I had to stifle a laugh (at work) on the comment of the escapee from the institution. Hilarious.

Sorry you are in pain, my ex had ingrown toenails frequently. Hope you feel better soon.

Can't even begin to imagine what a bikini wax freakin feels like. Ughh!

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