Exquisitely Wasted

Dinner, Dessert & Vodka!

2009-10-28T08:40:00.000-07:00

So I don't think I will be making this martini anytime soon!

Move Over Chelsea Handler!

2009-10-20T14:10:00.000-07:00

Chelsea Handler did not even READ my email through her stupid Myspace website! It shows in my sent folder as UNREAD! Chelsea, seriously, stop being a bitch! I so wanted to make martinis for you, but alas (for you!) I have found another. Someone I think is going to be bigger than Chelsea Handler. Everyone check out Sally Brooks, she is fabulooos!

Martinis and Chelsea Handler

2009-09-26T21:52:00.000-07:00

There are two things in this world that I love and as you know, martinis are one of them. The other is Chelsea Handler, star of the Chelsea Lately show. Funniest woman on TV (next to Ellen, of course!). Okay, before you all start hollering at me, yes I love Ned too. It's just he comes after martinis and Chelsea Handler.

Anyhoo, as Chelsea loves loves loves her vodka, I thought it would be a perfect idea if I became her personal martini maker. How cool would that be? My friend Juno who has been my little martini partner is extremely funny and talented and I have ordered her to write a script for an audition tape. She is currently jobless in Seattle so hey, what has she got to lose.

I can just see myself now, living in LA and making martinis for the fabulous and famous. Sigh. If only.

So here is the first (of what I think will be many) letter to Chelsea asking for a martini audition:

Dear Chelsea

Not sure if you actually read this or if you have some ~~sap~~ intern who monitors this crap for you but it is worth a try.

Have been a fan for forever. Well, since last year anyway. And being a fan I have realized just how much you love vodka. I understand, I love vodka too. In fact I love vodka that much that I started the Rockapoodle Martini company. Huge success. So, okay, we just had two gigs so far but still, huge success.

By day I work at an engineering college where I am surrounded by nerdy engineers who like to examine tiny particles and other useless stuff. But by night I am a martini maker, a martini lover, a martini connoisseur. And it is my dream - no wait, my destiny - to be your personal martini maker. Just think how convenient it would be; I would be there while you prepare for your show, with a martini just for you. I would be there as you are waiting off stage, with a martini just for you. I would be there during commercial break when instead of having to make small talk with boring guests, I could run on stage with a martini, just for you.

So all I am asking is for a chance, an audition even, to be your own personal martini maker. Oh, and I come with my own sidekick, her name is Juno and yes, that is her real name. And as she is 24, no she wasn't named after the movie. She was, however, the one that introduced me properly to you. Until Juno, I thought your name really was Chelsea Lately.

Hope you will consider this request. If not, there will be many more to follow. Either way I should make it on perezhilton.com for either being your personal martini maker or having a restraining order filed against me.

Cheers
M

Watch this space!

KMA!

2009-09-25T13:02:00.001-07:00

I love Joel McHale and The Soup. I love it even more when Whitney yells "Kiss My Ass!"

Crap...Scrap...Whatever!

2009-09-18T08:46:00.001-07:00

Nancy gave me an award, and made me laugh because she said she thought it said "Honest Crap" which I actually think is the better title! And the deal is that I have to tell you 10 things about myself and choose 10 people for the award. Ugh, the pressure!!!

1. I once had to pee in a field in North Carolina because my car had broken down and I was stuck on the side of the road forever with not a bathroom in sight. Just as I squatted down to pee, a cop drove by and caught me in all my glory!

2. I become very flirtatious when drunk and often end up making out with people I shouldn't!

3. My best friend in England is the only girl in the world that I would switch teams for. I wish I could find the guy equivalent of her.

4. I hate horror movies and especially zombies and vampires, but I love the BBC show Being Human and have now just started watching The Vampire Diaries.

5. My favorite food is Thai - especially sizzling dishes that come in a peanut sauce!

6. The best recipe that my mom ever gave me was for an orange pie - most delicious thing ever!

7. The majority of my friends in America are not American, but are from other countries!

8. I am petrified of people imitating monkeys - not monkeys themselves, just humans imitating them. If you meet me, you must never use this against me, I have been known to pee my pants!

9. Despite what my records say and what other people think, I am 39 AGAIN!

10. I love my son more than anyone or anything in this world, even though sometimes he can be SO annoying!

Okay, now for 10 people. Do I know 10 people? Do 10 people even care about my blog anymore since I fell to the wayside? Hmmm!

1. Welshy, because she is just lovely and Welsh and lets me call her a Wench!

2. Kat at Mama's Losin' It, because she is the funniest.

3. Karla at Zander and Me because we are both single moms with the cutest kids ever!

4. Bitsy because she is this super dooper 1950's style housewife living in 2009!

5. Shelly, because she is kick ass and is coming to visit me this weekend!

6. Funny Gals, because they are funny, they drink martinis, and if I ever move to Boston we will be having martini parties together!

7. Retro Girl, because she is that cool, and she has a huge huge heart.

8. Damn this is hard!

9. Did you like how I did that?

10. Soda & Candy, for not taking life too seriously and being funny as well!

Phew, now off you go little ones and do the same!

Saying Goodbye

2009-09-16T21:14:00.001-07:00

On Monday August 24th, I drove to San Francisco with my friend J, who is as funny as hell and made me laugh the whole way there. It was the first day I didn't cry after my mom died. I had to get a passport and was stressed out that when I arrived, they would deny me for some reason. My flight left the very next day and I had to be on it.

What should have been a 4 hour plus drive to SF was 3.5 hours, including slowing down for an accident along the way, and I nervously went into the office ahead of my appointment just to make sure I was on the list. Not only was I on the list but they let me in early. I couldn't believe how smoothly everything went and after going back in the afternoon, I emerged with an American passport in my hands. I have to say, the passport office staff were lovely and there were no issues at all, which was a huge relief.

Ned and I flew to England where a friend picked us up from the airport and drove us to my parents house. Except it is just my dad's house now and it makes me so sad to say that, because everything in the house, from the ornaments to the decor, were chosen by my mom. Pictures of my mom were scattered around the house, one with Ned when he was only 7 weeks old, and it just made me sad. Made me sad to think that I would never see her again, that she would never see her grandchildren again, and that she wouldn't drive me crazy again. Because she did drive me crazy, believe me! But it is so weird, when they die you only remember the really good stuff, and it makes you miss them even more.

The funeral was at the same church where we had Ned christened on Christmas Day, and although we didn't realize it at the time, my sister picked out the exact same outfit that she wore that day for her to be dressed in for her funeral. It was only a week later when we looked at the photographs that we both realized. It was the same vicar too which was really nice. There is a lot of tradition in England with funerals and we left the house in a car that followed the hearse and all of the neighbors came out and bowed their heads as we passed by. Before we got to the end of the street, the funeral director got out and with his top hat under his arm, he walked in front of the hearse as they walk the dead out from their street.

We arrived at the church a little early and watched as more than 20 people went in. Little did we know that were going to be another 200 or so already inside. The church was full - my mom would have been so happy! The vicar led us into the church with the coffin and the music that blasted from the sound system was a favorite of my moms - Mahalia Jackson's I'm on my Way! I walked down the church aisle holding on to my dad's arm - I hadn't done this in 17 years when he gave me away at my first wedding in the very same church. It was such a surreal feeling. The coffin was so tiny, too tiny for a woman with such an enormous presence.

The service was beautiful and there were many things that made us cry and some anecdotes from the vicar that made us laugh. I cried the hardest when they played Mahalia Jackson singing the Lord's Prayer.

My faith in God and the life we go to after this one gave me so much comfort, because I know mom believed and I know that she is on her new journey now. I know that she isn't suffering and she doesn't feel any pain or loss. But I do. I am suffering and I feel a pain that I never knew existed and a loss that is unbearable. As my sister put it, she was such a force of nature that you half expected a black hole to open up where she once stood!

I know that with time it will become easier, everyone says that and I really hope it is true. But for now I am really sad and all I do is read and re-read the letter that she mailed to me on the very day that she went to hospital, and I wonder if part of her knew because she never usually wrote like this:

Just a little note to say I'm sending my love to you both. I wish I could wrap my arms around you every day, for real, not just in my head, but I know your lives are settled in America.......

By the time you get this I might be out of hospital so hopefully it won't be long before I talk to you. Till then my darlings be good, be well and be happy.

Lots of love, Mom

The Hardest Time of My Life

2009-08-23T05:05:00.000-07:00

The title is a bit dramatic, but it is truly how I feel right now. My mom passed away in England on Friday morning and I feel a loss like no other. After a successful operation to remove cancer, she developed complications and had a massive stroke. She spent her last two weeks in intensive care and died peacefully on Friday.

Throughout my 40 years, my mother made me laugh, cry - in good times and bad times, angry, and sometimes sad. But most of all, she loved me and I am having a hard time comprehending that I will never see her again or speak to her on the phone each weekend. I am used to not seeing her as I live in a different country, but knowing that I won't be able to hear her voice is really hard. And I am so mad with myself because last week I went through my answer machine and deleted a bunch of messages, one of which was from her telling Ned and me how much she loved us.

When I got my citizenship I had to turn in my green card and I never applied for an American passport because as far as I was concerned, I wasn't traveling in the near future and I could do this any time. Now I have to race to San Francisco on Monday to get an emergency passport so I can fly out on Tuesday. Even then I won't be with my family until Wednesday around 4pm and that is just not soon enough. I need to be with my dad, sister and nephew so bad it aches.

There isn't anything anyone can say, I haven't written this for bunches of sympathy, I just needed to write it down. I know how it feels now for the other person who has lost someone and you are at a loss as to what to say, because no one knows what to say to me. I have received some lovely messages and my friends have been wonderfully caring. Someone is coming to San Francisco with me on Monday, even though it means they will be in the car for five hours, the passport office for however many hours, and then five hours back all in one day. I couldn't ask for better friends.

My mom drove me batty at times, especially in the last five years, there was a change in her and neither my sister and I could figure it out. She was 66 when she died, yet she talked like she was 80 and her life was almost over. It was, but no one knew this. I am just so grateful that she got to enjoy her two grandchildren and that I was home last Christmas and she was well and happy and we were all together for one last family Christmas. I don't think I could have timed it any better.

Ned understands what has happened, but because he didn't see his grandma as much as Marcus did, I don't think it has hit him that hard. And he is only five. But when I picked him up from school on Friday, I told him that we would be going back to England and he needed to take care of Marcus and grandpa because they were hurting really bad. His response was: "I am just going to say, hey guys, it's okay, she's an angel now".

She is an angel now, and knowing my dear mom, she is probably having the time of her life flitting around between family and friends and catching up on all the news and telling everyone what wonderful grandsons she has!

Love you mom, always.

The Saga Must End

2009-08-05T13:47:00.000-07:00

The saga must end because I cannot indulge her nonsense any longer. These are her last words (to me, unfortunately not her last words in the world):

Mavis Davis:
I love how you whine about not being a whiner. You are a typical liberal whiner who has no problem angrily insulting the oppostion, then you try to end the conversation by calling the opposition mean and angry - right after you tell me you are mocking me with your tone. KOO KOO! You say I cannot have healthy debate, I believe our debate was very healthy! We both have different opinions, but one is right and the other wrong. You apologize to Tiffany for the political debate that occurred as a result of her posting a politically charged picture on HER Facebook. YOU were the first to add a comment on HER page - a comment that was insulting to her political opinion. You started it all my dear, if you want it to end, then shut up. I'm perfectly happy trying to educate you!

I know Taffy can handle it, that's why I felt an apology was unnecessary, also because I know that she and I have the same political opinions. She would have no doubt been nicer to you, you are her friend, you are not mine. You are a threat to my country and my freedom. You say you are from England - since you think their socialist way of life is so grand, go back there! How dare you come here and try to change the greatest country in history. We have a standard of living that is the envy of the world. You are angry because your arguments SUCK and I am angry because I'm watching people like you, with your simple-minded ideology, destroy my country. You are entitled to your opinion, you are not entitled to destroy people's freedoms or to health care! You have yet to answer any of the arguments given that throughout history it is proven that the more you do for people, the less they do for themselves. Creating lazy people with entitlement mentalities has never helped a society.

But you liberals never have learned from history. Why would you start now? Your belief system does nothing to actually help people, it only makes you feel good about yourself. P.S. The indecent hate the decent - that is why people hate George W. Bush. He loved this country, can't say the same about the current administration, kept us safe, and was great for the economy until the libs were voted in control of the House and Senate in 2006. Facts are facts, wah wah wah.

Wow, all five foot two of me is a threat to America? I must go back to England even though I am a LEGAL American citizen? I did not know I could be so threatening, how fun! Now I must go and use all my evil powers that stem from Europe (as all evil powers do) to bring down the greatest country in history! Mwahahahaha!!!!!

Facebook War Update

2009-08-05T09:49:00.000-07:00

The next slew of insults:

Mavis Davis:
I can't see where we've used our first names either. So, what's your point? By the way, you misspelled mine. I'm not sure I believe you, it sounds like an accusation to me, but if I mistook your use of "you" I apologize. You are far from innocent, you were clearly angry in your "health care is right" comments above. I am right and have history to back me up, so that is not a burden at all. However, my burden lies in watching this country on the brink of destruction by a bunch of American-hating baffoons who wish to turn us into Europe. Funny, even the Europeans are learning from their failures and changing.

Mavis Davis:
You sound silly, Molly! I didn't think you were a stranger writing on Tiffany's facebook. I have many liberal friends, I"m from Oregon! That's how I know them so well. Oh, and Newsflash: Every single study ever conducted on the subject has overwhelmingly found that conservatives are happier than liberals, even when the liberals have won and their American-hating Messiah is in office. Studies have also concluded that conservatives overwhelmingly give more money to charity. That is because they believe in helping their fellow man - that's called humanity. They know that the government does not help people, it only takes from people. People help people! Sorry, but you do sound pretty whiney to me. It's the emotional liberal thing!

Mavis Davis:
No loss of energy, I just had to go to bed and wait for Molly's next whiney diatribe! :-)

It amuses me when the right wing think that President Obama hates America, and accuse him of being racist. It also amuses me that the right wing believe that they are always right and they can't debate anything but can only be insulting.

Um, I spelled her name wrong, shoot me, but I have left all her spelling mistakes on this post and the previous one.

Okay, so I lied and I posted this:

If I am a typical “whiney liberal” in your eyes, then you are the quintessential insulting right wing extremist who believes that their opinion is the only one that matters and you are unable to have a healthy debate without being insulting.

You don’t know me and you are wrong: I did not have an angry tone or any hatred when I was discussing health care. I do believe that everyone in this country is entitled to health care – no one should be left behind due to their circumstances or the fact that they cannot afford the same kind of treatment that others can. Am I mocking you in my tone of voice? Yes!

I started these comments stating that I believed Obama was not the Joker, but Bush was, because I find that particular picture of President Obama insulting, racist and derogatory. Those are my opinions. As a free American, I am entitled to them. You are entitled to yours, and I do not agree with you, but I have no hatred towards you.

I am not a fan of the previous president and you may not be a fan of the current president, but these are our individual opinions and should not spawn hatred.

With that, I am ending my part of the discussions because regardless of who is right and who is wrong, I am not going to resort to any further “debates” with you as it seems pointless.

Facebook War

2009-08-04T20:51:00.000-07:00

Brace yourselves, this is a long one!

So my good friend, um, Tiffany we shall call her, posted this awful picture last night on her facebook page. I left a comment and her angry right winged sister in law went off on a tangent. I am posting the comments for you to see the amusement for yourselves. Names have been changed to protect the innocent!

Molly Martini

No, that is what we had with the last president - he was definitely the joker!!!

Mavis Davis

Don't people know that what this admin is trying to do has been tried in other countries and been a disaster? There is no logic with the left. Full speed ahead distruction of this country. And they'll continue to whine about the economy being Bush's fault - all the while ignoring or being totally ignorant of the roll the House and Senate played in it all. Never mind that there are videos where you can watch the Bush administration and Republican senators practically beg for something to be done about Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae, while the Democrats (Barney Frank, Chris Dodd, Maxine Waters) lied through their teeth. I guess the facts never get in the way when CNN, CBS, MSNBC, ABC, etc. refuse to report them. wah wah wah wah, another whiney liberal!

Molly Martini

The economy mostly is the fault of Bush. And I am from England (although proud to be an American citizen now!) and we have socialized medicine there and it is not the nightmare everyone makes it out to be. Why is everyone so scared of change?

Mavis Davis

I have many friends from England who say differently. America has the greatest health care system in the world. Why would you change that? Why, with the economy the way it is, would you go to a system that will bankrupt us? It does't make sense. This was tried in Hawaii, with children only, for less than two years and it didn't work. They closed down the program. The government can't run anything but the military. Example: our public schools, the post office, the V.A., Medicaid, THE GOVERNMENT! Now they are going to take over our entire health care system. It is simply a way to control people and to make achievers pay for non-achievers. THAT is what destroys a country. They mislead people when say the numbers of people who don't have health care. There isn't one person who doesn't have access to health care. The people who are truly in need of help, with no INSURANCE, can get it, that's what Medicaid is for.

Mavis Davis

You say the economy is the fault of Bush, but you ignore the fact that the democrats are responsible for the housing disaster which started this whole slide. George Bush got us through the greatest disaster our generation has ever seen. He did it with tax cuts. He cut taxes across the board, but the democrats said it was for the wealthy only That was a lie. He increased the earned income credit for single parents making low wages, he reduced the tax rate for the lowest income earners and so much more. Almost 50% of Americans pay no Federal Income Tax. That's disgraceful and Obama wants to punish the wealthy who pay all of the taxes and keep this country going. He is raising taxes on small business. The left hurts everything it claims to wish to help. And people keep sucking it up, as long as the media tells them to.

Mavis Davis

George Bush is a good man. I've thought long and hard for over eight years why the media would wish to destroy someone like they tried to do with Bush. All I can come up with is that it he is a good and decent man. When I look at all that is elevated in this country, it's certainly not decency. MTV, Hollywood, Bill Clinton, the murder of our children.... What's good and pure is ridiculed and what is perverted and raunchy is celebrated. I heard a man say once, "There is nothing so vulgar left in society today that they cannot fly in some professor from somewhere to justify it." Hmmm, I"ll have to add that one to my quotes! Good night :-)

Molly Martini

Ah, yes, the greatest health care in the world - maybe it is, but at a price many cannot afford. I am tired of the politicians that are only in it for themselves, for the rich to get richer and the poor to stay poor. I am not saying the state of the economy is the fault of Bush entirely, I am sure Clinton had something to do with it, but the last 8 years have been a nightmare and have not helped the situation, but have only made it worse. I don't care what political party someone prefers, I am more about humanity and I think that we as a country should work together, should help each other out, should be more of a community. Health care should be a right, not a privilege. I have family and friends in England still and the health care system is not as good as America, but it isn't the worst either. My mom is in hospital right now preparing for an operation to remove cancer tomorrow morning - she has not had to suffer or wait for months for this operation.

Tiffany’s Husband

The entire world benefits from the current health care in the United States -- without the current health care system combined with the dreaded Capitilism, there would not be all of the current treatments and medications. The whole of the world gets the payoff, but everyone is mad that the people that put up the money want to make a profit. Hell more often than not it isn't a profit, considering that there is countless money spent on R&D that goes nowhere. If the rest of the world had systems that were worth a s**t, the leaders of the world would not come here for treatment. The fact that not all of the people have insurance is not athe problem the media wants it to be. The media does not consider that not all young single people want the expense of insurance, for some it is cheaper to pay the doctor as needed.

Mavis Davis

Molly, you say "we as a country should work together." That is what we've been doing since the founding of our country. It is proven that the more government gets involved, the less people give to charity. American's donate more of their money they any other country. This is because we are big, fat, greedy capitalists. And Obama wishes to change this. The more people are dependent on government, the less they do for themselves. A society cannot exist like that. History has been recorded, why do so many ignore history? You say health care is a right? I disagree. People have to buy car insurance, law abiding citizens do it. Why can't people pay for their own health insurance? Why should someone else pay for it? It used to be an honor to work hard and be independant. Our children are being raised to think the world owes them something. If health care is a right, what is food? Should the government be paying for our food as well?

Mavis Davis

A beer sounds great! Even though it's 12:30 where I'm at. I suppose I'll just go to bed instead! :-)

Molly Martini

Driving a car is not a right, it is a privilege, so I don't even know how you can compare health insurance to that! And I do think everyone should have access to good health care, but not at the high costs they are at now. Have you ever lived on the poverty line? Do you know what it is like to go without health insurnace? I have, it sucks! And if your children believes the world owes them something, it is because you have failed as a parent, not the government or the world. We as parents raise our children, at least I do anyway. Oh, and our constitution states we have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness - to have "life" we need health care. And by saying that people should pay no matter what the cost, you are not working together as "the people", you are in it for yourself.

Mavis Davis

You missed the point. If people do what it takes to pay for car insurance (because no one is doing it for them), then how much more important is health insurance? Since driving a car is a privilege, maybe some people have to give up their cars and pay for their health insurance instead of expecting others to do it for them. Besides, NO ONE is rejected health care in this country. You have bought the koolaid, you are mixing health care with health insurance. Insurance is not a right. For those who cannot afford insurance, there is government help. Medicare and Medicaid is only a high cost for the TAX PAYERS who are covering the program. The people who suffer from the high cost of health insurance are SMALL BUSINESS OWNERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE PEOPLE OBAMA IS RAISING TAXES ON TO PAY FOR HIS PATHETIC ENTITLEMENT PROGRAMS!!!!!!! What don't you get about that?

Mavis Davis

The only time I went without health insurance was when I chose to. Then later I paid for my own insurance at $100 per month. I had to scrimp in other areas. Big deal. My son worked a job that didn't provide insurance for three years and he, too, paid for his own insurance at $100 a month. Big Deal! So, your accusation of me failing as a parent is off base and insulting, but exactly what can be expected from soon on the left. Neither I nor my child expects the world to pay for us. YOU, HOWEVER, ARE DEFENDING THAT VERY THING IN YOUR CIRCULAR ARGUMENTS! YOU ARE THE ONE WHO THINKS HEALTH CARE IS A RIGHT, MY DEAR! NOT ME!YOU ARE NOT WORKING AS A PEOPLE, YOU ARE EXPECTING THE GOVERNMENT TO DO THAT FOR YOU!

Mavis Davis

You also ignored my statement that research shows that the more the government controls, the less people do for themselves. If you were as concerned for the welfare of humanity as you claim, you would process that fact, instead of ignore it. CHARITY AND HUMANITY SUFFERS WHEN THE GOVERNMENT TAKES CONTROL. DO YOUR RESEARCH!

Molly Martini

Wow, angry much?! I have no interest in arguing with you as I know we will never agree, and I am fine with that. Healthy debates are acceptable, shouting isn't. Sorry Tiffany, I can only apologize for my rudeness on your page! You my dear friend must be rolling your eyes! So glad we can agree to disagree on these matters.

Mavis Davis

You, Molly Martini, started the angry tone when you accused me of being a a failure as a parent. Here, I'll paste your comment for you, since you've apparently forgotten: "it is because you have failed as a parent". I'm sure Tiffany is rolling her eyes alright, but only because she has the same political beliefs that I have. As all on the left do, you think with your emotions, the right backs up their arguments with research and history, the left then resorts to insults, the right fights back, and the left starts crying and accusing the right of being mean. It gets really old. But Tiffany is a grown up. She knows that posting a political issue invites debate. She can handle it.

Molly Martini

Ooh, are we calling each other by our last names now Mavis Davis?! And what I actually said was "if your children believe the world owes them something, it is because you have failed as a parent, not the government or the world". Please notice the "if" at the beginning. This was in response to your comment "Our children are being raised to think the world owes them something". I did not angrily accuse you of being a bad parent, I was merely responding to what you had to say. You do seem very angry though, I am sorry that you feel so angry, it must be a huge burden to bear. And I don't go crying and accusing others of being mean, I am a big girl too. I just didn't want to disrespect my good friend Tiffany. Oh no, did I let it slip that Tiffany is friends with a Liberal? Oh dear, will she get into trouble now?!

So, to recap, she believes she is entitled to her opinion and it is the only one that should count, while my opinion counts for shit. Got it! She also has friends in England (really?) who tell her socialized medicine is baaadd! So I must be lying, right?

Worst of all, she started using my last name. She's going down!!!

Tards

2009-08-04T10:39:00.000-07:00

This is disgusting. I think it is so disrespectful and very anti American. Oh, not to mention it is vandalism!!

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, I don't expect everyone to like our current president, but this is not right.

Before we all go around pointing fingers, remember this country was in a bad state before Obama became president, not after. And if you expect him to fix it overnight, you are unrealistic or just plain crazy, you choose!

Visitors from Vegas

2009-08-02T18:56:00.000-07:00

Well you must know that I have some fabulous news if I am actually posting something on my blog! I just got news that Shelly is coming to visit in September and I am soooo excited!!!

I have never met Shelly. Shelly has never met me. I hope we like each other! I have a feeling that after a few of my martinis we will be the best of friends!!!

And the best part.........Ned is going to his dad's that weekend so we can have a total girlie drunkfest of a weekend!!!

Crap Blogger, Crap Blog Reader

2009-07-13T15:50:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am still alive, I promise, but I just either didn't have anything to blog about and didn't have time! My life is too busy and it drives me insane, not to mention I get sucked into spending more time on Facebook than anything else!

So, I have three jobs - my main one and two part time jobs (no, I don't work at "that" place anymore!). Two of the jobs I do in my own time, but I am finding lately that I have very little of that. My mom is driving me crazy telling me that I shouldn't work so hard, but when you have bills to pay, you have no choice. We can't all be retired for the last 20 years mother!!!

Ned turned 5 in June with a fabulous Pirates & Princesses party and all the kids came dressed up. 24 children in total! The parents had a great time, mainly because I served martinis, and complained that this was the best party they had been to and I had set the bar too high! Ned has also turned into a teenager overnight because he has a rotten attitude sometimes and can be quite a handful. Although he has given me permission to get married and have a baby brother for him, so I guess I am on the look out for a suitor!

Speaking of which, I have grown a pair and asked two guys out on coffee dates in recent months. It hasn't gone anywhere, but it has just been nice to go out to coffee with someone. Now I just need to find the right one! Gotta make that baby brother for Ned before the eggs get rotten!

I will try to come back more often, but I am making no promises as I am just a crap blogger. I am an even crappier blog reader, so don't hold it against me!

Oh Say Can You See.......

2009-05-13T13:14:00.000-07:00

So guess what I passed today? Yes, my American citizenship test! Which means that hopefully I can never be deported. Ever! It also means that this is my official home, and that means a lot to me because I love living here. My son was born here, this is where I am happiest and more importantly, I can now vote!!!! Well worth $685!

Wanted: New Daddy

2009-05-04T21:59:00.000-07:00

So the other week, Ned said something to me that I had been hoping he never would.

Ned: We don't have a daddy living in this house.
Me: No, no we don't. But you do have a daddy.
Ned: I know. But he's at his house.
Me: But he loves you very much, just like I do.
Ned: Can we get a new daddy at this house?
Me: Believe me, I have been trying forever! Can you keep your eyes peeled and find a good one for the both of us?
Ned: Yes!

So then nothing until today when he mentions it again. I reminded him that he already had a dad (I am so not into "new daddies" when kids already have one, even if they are useless like Ned's dad) and he said "no mom, just another daddy who lives at our house and will pick me up from school".

I feel so bad for the kid, he so desperately wants a father figure in his life on a daily basis and he sees his friends dads picking them up from school and he wants that. But now all I can think about is shit, I know what he is like, he is going to be asking every man he sees to be his new daddy! And that is not going to look good when we are in the middle of the grocery store. Men will be abandoning their shopping carts and making a mad dash for the closest exit!

Still here.....sort of

2009-04-28T21:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I know I hardly blog anymore and I read your blogs even less, but seriously, it's not because I don't care. It's because I never have time to do anything! Oh, except record Ned doing funny things, like this:

To Brighten Up Your Day

2009-04-07T09:47:00.000-07:00

Bitsy sent me this today and it made me so happy. You have to watch, it is brilliant!

We Made It!

2009-04-03T15:28:00.000-07:00

So we moved last Saturday and I have to say, I had some lovely people turn up to help me and they made it so much fun. We were unloaded at the new house by 12, returned the truck by 1pm and started drinking and eating in the back yard until 8pm! Well, it was my second 39th birthday after all! I am almost finished with the unpacking, still a few more boxes to go but I am taking my time so that I can figure out where I want this stuff (which is mostly crap!). Ned's room is so big compared to his old one and very warm too, not like the freezing room I forced him to sleep in before! And my room is so big that you could fit two double beds in there. I am trying to set up an office at one end of it but I just don't have the furniture, nor the money for said furniture! But I love our new house, it so feels like home and apart from some of the stuff looking a bit old (doors, washing machine etc), it is lovely. I have even been down to the basement by myself!!

I now have internet at home so will try and catch up with you all at the weekend.

Almost There

2009-03-26T09:41:00.001-07:00

Forgive me for posting and not reading any blogs, I am overloaded! I only have two more days and then I will be moving into my new cute house, and turning 39 again for the second time! Who moves on their birthday?!

So, things that have stressed me out this week:

Dropped a deposit off at the bank over the weekend and put it in the night drop. Bank recorded the deposit on Monday morning and then promptly lost it. Overdraft fees were incurred, still no deposit. Today, they have put the deposit in there (it was posted to someone else's account) and reimbursed me for the overdraft fees - twice! Two deposits, two overdraft fees!

A medical billing office has apparently kept a credit of mine on their accounts since April 2008. I only found out about it in February this year and have tried to get the money back three times, with people promising me that they would start the refund process immediately. On Tuesday I called again to see where it was and was told that there is nothing in the notes and no refund was ever processed. Great! Fuming, I demanded they cut me a check and call me when it was ready so I could go pick it up in person. They got on it straight away and I picked up the check yesterday. And promptly deposited in the bank where my previous deposit was lost! Fingers crossed!

My property manager seems to think that a walk through of the house I am moving into on Saturday is not necessary until AFTER I move in. WTF? So, if there is damage already there, is he going to try and say I did it when I moved in? I don't think so, my camera will be on hand to record everything!

The guy who owns the house needs to put up smoke detectors, deadbolts and a blind on the kitchen window. He has had weeks to do this and has informed the property manager that he has until April 1st to do it so he will do it some time before then. Um hello, my lease starts March 28th. Again, WTF?!

So yes, I have been a little stressed out to say the least, not to mention I also went to a counselling session with my ex last weekend over parenting concerns that I had regarding him, and it was emotionally exhausting, but here is hoping that the weekend goes well and I will be all moved in with no major incidents to report very soon!

I don't have internet at home right now and I am not sure when it will be up and running again, but please, just bear with me!

Feckin' hell!

2009-03-14T20:24:00.001-07:00

Sorry, that is the only title I could come up with. I have just spent almost an hour and a half catching up on blogs. I have been off work most of the week due to the flu. I was supposed to really get on with things and start packing today but all I have accomplished is three boxes. I don't move for another two weeks but with two jobs, Ned's dance class and Tae Kwan Do classes (2 of them!) each week, a counselling session with the ex hubby about his parenting abilities next Saturday, I am wondering if I will be able to pack everything in time.

Feckin' hell!

I will post more on the counselling session and the reason it came about when I am not so tired/still worn out from the flu/packing/working/dancing/Tae Kwan Do-ing.

Home Sweet Home

2009-03-01T09:13:00.000-08:00

So this is the house I have been approved for, pending my credit check, and I am so excited! It is really close to where I work so no more getting on the freeway, and it is zoned for the school I want Ned to go to. It will literally take me minutes to get to work in the car.

It was built in 1940 and has only ever had one owner, and I am not sure whether she moved out to a nursing home or died last year - I don't want to ask! It is just so cute and retro like, I love it. The master bedroom is so much bigger than mine, with a little vanity area off the bedroom that leads to my own bathroom! And the garden out back is lovely, a perfect play area for Ned and hopefully it will be nice enough to have his birthday party there in June. It also has a basement where I can do my laundry and store stuff, and as I am a pack rat, I am sure I won't have too much trouble filling that place up!

I am sooo excited! Moving house again was something I didn't really anticipate until I realized that it would be so difficult to get a variance for Ned at the school I wanted. But I really feel that this place is our home so I am really pleased we got it.

And now, I will be moving on my second 39th birthday - hurrah, I think!

2009-02-25T21:51:00.000-08:00

Well I looked at the house and it was not for me - it had no air conditioning and if you live in Nevada, you cannot live without A/C! But I do have my eye on a rather cute 1940's house that has been remodeled and has a lot of character, not to mention a very nice back yard, so I will keep you all posted.

And I promise to read your blogs soon, however I must go to bed now as I was up all night thinking about moving, expenses, bills, packing, unpacking, cleaning the new house, cleaning the old house - well, you get the picture. I was up most of the night and am exhausted!

Sacrifices

2009-02-19T20:29:00.000-08:00

No, I will not be sacrificing Ned, although there are indications that God liked that in the past. However, I think it would be frowned upon nowadays. Instead, I need to make some personal sacrifices. There is a school that I want to put Ned in for Kindergarten/Elementary this year and it is currently opposite his preschool. He could have before and after care at his current preschool and they escort them to the K/E school and pick them up again. Perfect arrangement, especially as I work in their office and get a lovely discount each week on tuition.

There is just one problem. We are not zoned for this school which means that we either have to apply for a variance, which the principal told me that it would be highly unlikely that it went through due to limited spaces, or move. I would like the second option because while my house is suitable, it is on the other side of the city to where I work and extremely old.

So I have been cruising the neighborhoods for the perfect house at the perfect price and yesterday I found one. Except it was not so perfectly $335 more than what I pay in rent a month now. $1200 per month to be exact. I contacted the property managers and haggled. They said they would go back to the owners and ask them if they would accept $1,000 per month because as they said, some rent is better than no rent. If I could get them to go $200 less that would be amazing.

Except for moving costs of course, not to mention the extra rent. But it is worth it for Ned's education. This school is one of the best in the area and I have to think about the long term. His tuition will decrease in the fall when he goes to Kindergarten. My car loan will be paid off in exactly one year. It is a better neighborhood and less of a drive for me to go to work. And I so want this house!

There are three bathrooms! Three! The yard is huge, appliances included, two car garage, three bedrooms (instead of the two I have now). I desperately want this house. I figure even if he says $1100 I should take it. My boss has kindly said he will give me 2 hours overtime every week without fail - basically whether there is work or not but with him, I know there will be. That is an extra $240 a month so I should take $1100 if they offer it, right? Right??????

I have so many people who would help me move but unfortunately none of them will pay the moving costs! So I have decided that even if I have to live without TV and the internet at home for a while I will do it. Sacrifices have to be made! Any other suggestions, tips, offers of money, reimbursement of moving costs, etc? The latter being more preferable of course!

Ouch

2009-02-15T21:08:00.001-08:00

I took Ned sledding today in Truckee - the snow was dumping down and it was beautiful. Unfortunately, I made a very unwise choice and decided to sled myself. I came off the sled and banged my head really hard. I don't know if I am concussed but hopefully I am not, and there is no permanent damage. I was slightly unbalanced before so maybe this has knocked some sense back into me?!

Happy Hearts Day

2009-02-14T07:16:00.000-08:00